Every year, the boys at On The Water magazine hold an informal, totally non-competitive contest to see who can weigh in the biggest striper. At the Christmas party, the winner gets to keep all the entry fees. They let me participate because my $25 entry fee makes the pot bigger without any chance of my actually winning. It’s like free money to them. But this year it will be different.

Now, these guys know how to catch fish, and the annual OTW Striper Contest, also known as the OTW General Management Benefit Fund, is supposed to be done on your own time, but you know how that is. It’s hard to break into that elite echelon of winners. We need some fresh blood in here. So how can someone like me have a chance to win this thing? I have a strategy.

According to the OTW Striper Contest accountant, no one has put his money into the pool this year. Now, the rules say that if your money isn’t in, you don’t win, no matter how massive your striper is. So, I have quietly slipped my $25 to the OTW Striper Contest accountant, who has promised me that she will stop reminding everyone else to pay up. Now, these guys are always very busy, especially in the fall. Stay with me on this. They all forget to put in their cash, I catch one measly, barely-legal striper (or borrow one in a pinch), and voila, I win! It’s brilliant!

I am so confident that I was up early practicing my celebration dance:

Hey, wait a minute, if no one puts cash into the kitty, the only thing I will win is my own $25. Oh, well, that’s $25 more than I usually have at the end of this thing. I can’t wait to see the look on everyone’s face!