Once in a while I find myself clobbering around at the edge of some fast moving water in the dark, wishing I had an extra hand to hold my lucky flashlight so I wouldn’t fall in and drown.

Now, some would suggest that I stick the flashlight in my mouth, but it is a double D-cell model, and I have found that, once stuck in my mouth, the flashlight prevents both eating and breathing (real men breathe through their mouths), and I prefer not to do this. What to do?

After some thorough online research, I came up with this solution:

Now, there are a whole passel of things wrong with this approach. First, it costs $43 plus shipping. Second, it was obviously cooked up in an urban studio by some design school graduate sipping a latte, not by a real human who has stood in the pounding surf in the middle of the night with a monster on. Third, and worst, they used a pink hat to model this contraption. That’s all you need to know. I wouldn’t be caught dead in this fool getup, even in the dark. There must be a better way.

A minute of careful thought and two minutes of precision construction and, voila, something a real man would be proud to wear:

This beauty didn’t cost a nickel, and it integrates my lucky hat and lucky flashlight. I tried my rig out in the Skunk Report equipment testing area:

So far, so good! Now, we take the Skunklight out into the field!

Here we are, at a local fishing hole known to produce large results on an irregular basis. Patience and toughness matter here. Because of the tight quarters, I am using a traditional handline, a technique I have used since I was a little snapper.

You will see that the Skunklight not only looks great, but also works like a charm! I can’t wait to see what I scare up in the old hole tonight! If you want one of these fabulous lights, you’ll have to make your own. I refuse to succumb to the siren song of commercialism.